Tuesday, June 18, 2013

BEWARE OF THE DEMON LETTUCE

LETTUCE IS EVIL.

Seriously - for real - I know this to be true because last Wednesday lettuce put a hex on me and I will think twice before ever purchasing another bunch.

My trouble began when we decided to grill hamburgers and I ran to the store to pick up the necessities.  If only I had stuck to the list:  cheese, onion, tomatoes, and pickles.  Yet, in my haste to grab what I needed and exit the store, the green leafy demon caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.  Without a second thought, I tossed the bunch into my cart and headed for the check-out counter. 

AND FIVE SECONDS LATER THE TROUBLE BEGAN.

I stood at the end of a line ten people thick.  I looked left, then right - no relief in sight.  Every other register stood empty and no one scurried to open.  Silently, I scolded myself.  Really?  Lettuce was a necessary purchase?

BUT THERE'S MORE.

Thirty minutes into my wait, the clerk was forced to call for register tape.  Ten minutes after that, mustard wouldn't ring up at the sale price.  Twenty minutes later, change for a one hundred dollar bill.

LETTUCE WINKED AT ME AND CACKLED.

Finally - Oh geez, FINALLY, I made it to the conveyor belt and unloaded my basket.  The clerk scanned each of my items until only lettuce remained.  She dragged it across the scanner once, twice, and then three times in an attempt to record my purchase.  Not once did the electric eye read the bar code.

The clerk, by this time just as impatient as I, thumbed through her nicely-laminated price list and then poked numbers on her keypad - an obnoxious beep resonated in the tense moment.  With a loud sigh and a snap of her chewing gum, she recited the numbers out loud while she re-entered them.  Still, the machine taunted us.

I turned to the lady behind me in line.  "I'm so sorry," I groaned.
Luckily, she smiled.  "No worries," she said.  "That darn lettuce causes trouble every time."

Five minutes later, after the dreaded price check, my money was collected and my bags were loaded - except for one item.

LETTUCE.

I simply sighed, tied the top of the bag into a tight knot, poked the green nuisance under one arm, and proceeded to deposit it directly into the trash can on the way out of the door.  

So ... how was your week?


Until next week, 


Mia 






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THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK:

Are you as bored as I am?  Read that backwards and it still makes sense.

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