Tuesday, June 18, 2013

BEWARE OF THE DEMON LETTUCE

LETTUCE IS EVIL.

Seriously - for real - I know this to be true because last Wednesday lettuce put a hex on me and I will think twice before ever purchasing another bunch.

My trouble began when we decided to grill hamburgers and I ran to the store to pick up the necessities.  If only I had stuck to the list:  cheese, onion, tomatoes, and pickles.  Yet, in my haste to grab what I needed and exit the store, the green leafy demon caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.  Without a second thought, I tossed the bunch into my cart and headed for the check-out counter. 

AND FIVE SECONDS LATER THE TROUBLE BEGAN.

I stood at the end of a line ten people thick.  I looked left, then right - no relief in sight.  Every other register stood empty and no one scurried to open.  Silently, I scolded myself.  Really?  Lettuce was a necessary purchase?

BUT THERE'S MORE.

Thirty minutes into my wait, the clerk was forced to call for register tape.  Ten minutes after that, mustard wouldn't ring up at the sale price.  Twenty minutes later, change for a one hundred dollar bill.

LETTUCE WINKED AT ME AND CACKLED.

Finally - Oh geez, FINALLY, I made it to the conveyor belt and unloaded my basket.  The clerk scanned each of my items until only lettuce remained.  She dragged it across the scanner once, twice, and then three times in an attempt to record my purchase.  Not once did the electric eye read the bar code.

The clerk, by this time just as impatient as I, thumbed through her nicely-laminated price list and then poked numbers on her keypad - an obnoxious beep resonated in the tense moment.  With a loud sigh and a snap of her chewing gum, she recited the numbers out loud while she re-entered them.  Still, the machine taunted us.

I turned to the lady behind me in line.  "I'm so sorry," I groaned.
Luckily, she smiled.  "No worries," she said.  "That darn lettuce causes trouble every time."

Five minutes later, after the dreaded price check, my money was collected and my bags were loaded - except for one item.

LETTUCE.

I simply sighed, tied the top of the bag into a tight knot, poked the green nuisance under one arm, and proceeded to deposit it directly into the trash can on the way out of the door.  

So ... how was your week?


Until next week, 


Mia 






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THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK:

Are you as bored as I am?  Read that backwards and it still makes sense.

Monday, June 10, 2013

GUILTY!

It's official - I spend WAAAYYYY too much time browsing the Internet in the name of research!! However, I do manage to learn some interesting things.  Here's what I stumbled upon this week:  10 crazy (but true) laws:

1.     It is against Michigan state law to tie a crocodile to a fire hydrant.

2.     A woman in a housecoat is forbidden to drive a car in California.

3.     In Eureka, Nevada, it is illegal for men who have mustaches to kiss women.

4.     According to an Atlanta, Georgia, ordinance, "smelly people" are not allowed to ride public streetcars.

5.     In Mohave County, Arizona, if anyone is caught stealing soap, he must wash himself with it until the soap is gone.

6.     In Michigan, a woman's hair belongs to her husband.

7.     It's illegal in St. Louis, Missouri, for a fireman to rescue a woman wearing a nightgown.  If she wants to be rescued, she must be fully clothed.

8.     Policemen are allowed to bite a dog if they think it will calm the dog down in Paulding, Ohio.

9.     In Indiana, it is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

10.    A woman in Memphis, Tennessee, is not allowed to drive a car unless a man is in front of the car waving a red flag to warn people and other cars.



Until next week,



Mia
 
 
 
 
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK:
 
     Because I'm smokin' hot is not the correct answer to
     "Do you know why I pulled you over?" !!!!!

Saturday, March 3, 2012


Hey Guys ---
Monday, March 4, 2012 kicks off "Read an E-Book Week" on Smashwords. This is a promotion Smashwords has run for the last four years to promote e-books. At one minute past midnight on March 4, readers will be able to browse a special catalog and order Smashwords books at a discounted price and/or free.

I have two books available for free in this promotion: Leather, Lace & Rock-n-Roll (free, no coupon required) and my newest release, Playing with Fire (free, with coupon code RE100).

This promotion is only available on the Smashwords website at the following links:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/123319
                                   and
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87362.

The promotion only lasts until 11:59 p.m. on March 10 (Pacific Time). Please tell a friend to check me out!!!

Until next time,

Mia

Sunday, January 22, 2012

NEW RELEASE AVAILABLE

My newest release, Playing with Fire, is now available at smashwords.com.  Check it out!!



Les3photo8|Dreamstime.com

Thanks for reading!!!!

Mia

Sunday, December 11, 2011

AM I DONE YET?

Finally my Christmas shopping is done! But as I sit on the floor in the middle of the gift wrap, ribbons, bows, and presents, I find that I’m not nearly as “done” as I thought.

Go figure.

After all the thought put into each gift, standing in line, and shopping numerous stores for a particular item in stock, I sit here, my scissors poised and ready to wrap. Have I really bought the perfect gift for each person? Will the recipient think as much of the present as I do? Or will they rush to the store on December 26th to exchange it for something else?

And then the mania sets in.

What about putting together the toys, bicycles, exercise equipment, etc.? If the box says “Some assembly required,” in English that means a person needs a professional mechanic’s tools and an engineering degree to get the job done. And how can you possibly pull that off without waking the kids?

Then there’s Christmas dinner. Can I cook the turkey and ham so that no one gets sick from undercooked meat? Will the guests get along and have a good time? Wait! That, I can do. I’ll just be sure to choose a good wine. Except that means ….. one more stop on the list.

So, really I am not “done”, I have just begun.

Until next week,


Mia


Jarenwicklund | Dreamstime.com

Sunday, November 27, 2011

A Family Tradition

A tradition at my house is to put up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day.  We have an artificial tree, mostly for safety reasons.  (If anyone is going to set their Christmas tree on fire, it’s me). 

It’s a family affair.  My husband puts the tree together.  He used to do the lights too but now we have a pre-lit tree.  (How is it that something always comes out to make his jobs easier?)  The kids put on the ornaments.  When they were little our tree was always leaning to one side or the other because they always seemed to put everything on the same side.  And I left it that way because that is part of what makes the holidays so special.  Lots of cute memories.  As they get older, they complain about doing the ornaments because it takes so long and the tree won’t be up that long anyway.  (From Thanksgiving Day to New Year’s Day is quite a stretch if you ask me). 

We have never used real popcorn or berries to put on our tree.  The various dogs and cats that live in our house would take that as an invitation.  As it is, the dogs like to lay under it and the cats enjoy climbing it.  We end up picking it up off the floor several times every year as it is.  If we put food on it, well, I have no idea what would happen.

I get to supervise and put on the icicles.  Yes, they are messy, clinging to your leg as you walk by, falling off the tree when a gift is added.  But I’ve tried leaving them off and it’s just not shiny enough without them.  They add a lot of sparkle to the tree.

Did you know that if you look at the lights and squint your eyes they look like stars?   I spend a lot of time staring at my tree.  It looks different every year. 

Some day soon it will be a mom and dad affair.  I’m enjoying the supervising for as long as I can.

Until next week,

Mia
DREAMZDESIGNER|DREAMSTIME.COM



THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK:

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music --- Anonymous

Monday, November 21, 2011